Saturday, May 21, 2011

Minutes of Bell Family Meeting - 22/5/11

Dad (Smirker in the Corner)
Mum (Chairperson / Secretary / General Dogsbody)
Sophie Bell (Chief Whinger and Complainer of All Things Unfair)
Caleb Bell (Holder of Bottom Rung in Pecking Order)
Buzz and Lemon Meringue the goldfish (no speaking rights)

Barry the Cat (didn't bother showing up - rude!)

Matters Arising:
1) Meeting is called to order by Mum and rules of the 'Talking Stick' explained.
2) Rules of the talking stick clarified once more.
3) Sophie takes hold of Talking Stick and explains reason for meeting - Caleb is guilty of stealing precious Hello Kitty clock (purchased with own money) and throwing it in his room, resulting in it being "smashed to bits". Demands that a new one be purchased, this time a Princess themed one (over Hello Kitty phase) that can hang on wall, out of pesky little brother's reach..
4) Stick passed to Caleb, who freely admits stealing and smashing said clock, and proceeds to tap fish tank with Talking Stick, unperturbed.
5) Stick passed to Mum, who reminds all parties that new clocks cost money, of which Caleb has none. Mum and Dad should not send their money on clock when they have no involvement with crime.
6) Dad mentions particularly sad state of family finances due to yet another nasty lawnmower repair bill.
**Muttering heard from Mum's end of the table about lemons and second-hand ride on mowers. Unclear and spoken out of turn, so not minuted**
7) Mum asks Caleb how he can get some money.
8) Caleb suggests going to the shop and buying some money, before removing himself from the meeting. Slips on book left on floor and bangs head on corner of magazine rack. Cries.
**Meeting adjourned briefly until order restored**
9) Caleb returned to meeting and instructed to stay until issue has been resolved.
10) Rules of the talking stick clarified once more.
11) Sophie suggests chores for Caleb to earn money.
12) Caleb flogs Talking Stick and runs away.
**Meeting restored briefly until order restored**
13) Role of Talking Stick clarified once more.
14) Sophie raises hands and shares her carefully thought out list of appropriate chores.
- Feeding Minty twice a day for a week
- Picking up stones.
15) Sophie reminded that Minty eats grass and no-one ever feeds her, so that is not an appropriate chore. Talking Stick abandoned.
16) Dad gets gleam in eye at prospect of stone removal from lawn, potentially preventing further nasty lawn mower repair bills.
17) Mum agrees.
18) Sophie smirks.
19) Restorative justice achieved and meeting adjourned, 2:05pm.

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